Having support on the journey is not only helpful but necessary. Becoming self-aware and being responsible for your thoughts, words, and actions is a 24/7 job at times. When your partner isn’t in the same place, it can feel like the Pacific Ocean resides between you. They don’t understand the highs and lows you’re likely experiencing on the trip of your life.
When I met my ex-husband 16 years ago, I’d been on my personal growth journey for eight years.
When we were introduced, I felt a wave of excitement rush through my body. There was something intriguing about him. He had kind eyes, a heart-melting smile, and raw charisma. I felt instantly drawn to him.
I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but as we got to know each other, I made a decision that I’d be open to what was pulling me to him, even though I was discovering that he wasn’t into yoga, meditation, or healthy living, like I was. I thought about not continuing to see him, but I trusted in the internal guidance and flow in my life. I took the emergency break off and allowed myself to discover what was between us. I surrendered, we fell in love, and eventually we married.
Throughout the marriage, I remained committed to my spiritual path and growth. I studied with a Lakota shaman for a year, dove into Kundalini yoga for another year, saw energy healers, and continued working with personal coaches on energy clearing, self-mastery, emotional intelligence, and more. I learned to trust my internal guidance without question. My husband was willing to follow where we were led and supported me, even though he didn’t always understand it. We created a beautiful life.
For a long time, it didn’t matter that my husband wasn’t on a similar path. I learned to extend beyond my comfort zone and reach out to find community no matter where I was. I connected with people who understood me and what we’d been learning on our respective journeys. We’d talk about all the exciting discoveries in our lives, the magical synchronicities and amazing things that transpired. We’d talk about the challenges and the difficulties too.
It took the place of not sharing it all with my partner, even though the desire remained that I truly wanted to have those conversations with him. When you talk energy, have a daily meditation practice, or are a conscious eater, and your partner isn’t where you are, it can cause you to question whether you’re in the right relationship.
There were times when his eyes glazed over as I talked about my experiences. Those were the occasions when I knew I needed to be OK with sharing myself fully or take it outside the relationship to my friends. It didn’t always feel good, but I learned I didn’t need to share everything with him.