Relationship questions are part of the dating process and can help you evaluate if someone has the right relationship material for you. You do not want to get into a relationship with just anyone, otherwise you will most likely wind up with a crappy relationship. You want to make sure you ask your potential partner the right questions, but you also need to be asking the right questions to yourself, and give yourself honest answers. Anyone can lie to you, so asking questions of someone you are dating, or in the early stages of a relationship, may not get you the truth. But don’t lie to yourself, and don’t ignore the warning signs and red flags right in front of you.
Here is a short list of 10 relationship questions you need to ask yourself to determine if the person you are dating has relationship potential, or if your current relationship needs some work. (Or for you to bail.)
1. Are there many outside influences getting in the way of your dates or your relationship? What I mean, are people supportive of your relationship or constantly trying to tear you two apart? Now, what other people think of your relationship should not affect whether or not the two of you get together or stay together, but in many, many cases, it does. If your current partners ex-wife, for example, does not respect boundaries and has zero respect for your relationship it shouldn’t cause friction between the two of you. Your current partner should enforce boundaries, and not allow you or your relationship to be disrespected. You should not be fighting about their ex-wife. You should be united as a team and stay strong and it should not affect your relationship. If you are not, then you have to admit to yourself that their past relationship is their priority, and you are not. They want you to lie down and be run over by their ex. That says a lot about them, and shows there are bigger problems in your relationship that just their ex wife being a bitch. They are allowing their ex wife to be a bitch to you, and that right there is a huge red flag. This is just one example of how an outside can negatively influence the future of getting into or staying in a relationship with this person.
2. Are you in sync with one another or are their too many differences of lifestyle, opinion, or beliefs? Sometimes opposites do attract and can have a harmonious relationship. In many cases, when their are too many differences between the partners they just don’t click and they get on each other’s nerves and it causes too much conflict. Look at what you really want out of life, and how you choose to live it. If your potential partner (or current partner) has a completely different viewpoint, you may just be a bad fit for one another.
3. Do you both like one another as you are now, or are either of you waiting, hoping, or wanting to see changes in the other? Change may never happen, and who you both are now is all you have to base your future on. And, instead of trying to make someone into someone else better suited for you, why not find someone better suited for you? It wouldn’t be more work trying to find the right person for you than it would be trying to change someone that doesn’t want to change.
4. If you were not pursuing a romantic relationship, could you actually be friends with one another? Is a basis for friendship there? If there isn’t, you don’t have the best foundation to build upon.
5. When you have disagreements, how do you resolve them? Does every little fight or difference of opinion become a huge battle that lasts way long than it should? Since almost no couple is going to get along all the time, how you resolve conflict is of the utmost importance. So is how often conflict arises. If your disagreements lead to world war three, you need to rethink this relationship all together, or avoid getting into a relationship with this person in the first place.
6. Do you feel your relationship is balanced? What I mean by this is are you both contributing to the success of the relationship? Are you both putting forth an effort and doing the work or is it all on one of you? Is one of you always having to be the bigger person all the time? Is one of you always getting what you want while the other waits for it to finally be their turn? Is one one of you making sacrifices for the good of the relationship? If there is no balance, the foundation is already rocky. You would not want to pursue a relationship with this person until a more even balance can be created. That will be very difficult to achieve, so don’t kid yourself. If your relationship is already off balance, you need create change or it will only get worse.
7. Do you both have similar goals and do you support one another achieving them? Do you both want the same things out of life and are you both willing to do your share to make them happen? If you both do not want the same things out of life, and support each other’s achievements, you will more than likely grow apart, because you are not growing together.
8. Does your time together include a lot of quality time? Anyone can have fun with another person at a movie or an amusement park, but can you have a good time just being together, and talking? Can you make the best out of a situation when plans fall through and still have a good time? At the end of the day, you have to truly enjoy one another’s company and keep communication and quality time a priority. If not, then your future together doesn’t look too bright.
9. Are you both happy with where your dating or relationship is at the moment? If you are not really happy right now, you need to take a serious step back and ask yourself why you are in a relationship you are not happy with, or why you would enter into a relationship with someone who you are already not happy with. If you are staying for the wrong reasons, that won’t make your relationship right. It is a problem that will get worse over time. If you think by getting into a relationship that things between you will then change and then you will be happier, you are not being realistic. Labels don’t change things.
10. Have you both left your past relationships behind? Is it too soon for either of you to be dating or getting into a relationship? Using someone as a rebound for a past relationship is not a nice thing to do, and usually doesn’t end well. It is also not the best way to move on, but more like a way to keep busy until the ex comes back. Either way, if there has not been enough time between relationships, they are not worth the risks involved. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow to ensure the past if left behind where it belongs.